Maybe you’ve heard about a little thing called the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Perhaps you’re thinking that, with all that pollution coming from offshore drilling, it might be better to plan a vacation to somewhere else than Louisiana this year.
Well, we here at the Louisiana Tourism Justification Board urge you to reconsider. Sure, Louisiana’s coastline has been destroyed by a thick oil slick, but that doesn’t mean your vacation needs to be destroyed along with it.
Come to our great beaches. They’re still there, spill or no spill! In fact, the BP oil spill has inspired a whole new generation of beach fashions, as pictured here.
The news is full of doom and gloom stories about how dirty and toxic the petroleum slick is. What they don’t mention is the upside: Free energy!
In other coastal states, beachcombers have nothing to do but pick up seashells. What can you do with seashells? In Louisiana, you can go to the seashore and pick up oil, for no charge, and the locals will actually thank you for it!
Sure, you might have to refine the oil a bit, to remove the sand, or wetlands reeds, or occasional dead endangered sea turtle, but then, we’ve always known that energy can’t come without sacrifice, right?
Shovel, baby, shovel!
Can’t make it to the beach? Don’t worry! Hurricane season is on its way, and that means that big storms will be picking up the oil-laden water from the Gulf of Mexico and raining it back down even on inland areas. You’ll be able to simply put a bucket outside the door of your motel room, and in the morning, have enough to top up your gas tank with that beautiful black gold.