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I Am Going To Burn A Koran In 15 Minutes

That wacky, hateful pastor at the Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida, is playing a game for publicity by pledging to burn a bunch of Korans, and then saying he won’t do it, and then hedging his bets, and saying he’ll stop his Koran burning protest, but only if a Muslim community center in New York City relocates.

Never mind this particular pastor, though, because the fanatics over at the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas say that they’ll burn Korans on September 11 even if the Dove World Outreach Center doesn’t.

I can’t stand the dramatic tension anymore. I happen to have a copy of the Koran in my house, so I’m going to go burn one in my backyard, just to get it over with.

Seriously, the fire starts in 15 minutes. In about 30 minutes, I’ll post the video. Wish me, luck, or damnation, or whatever you want to wish me. Wishes don’t come true, so I feel pretty safe about it.

14 thoughts on “I Am Going To Burn A Koran In 15 Minutes”

  1. Jim says:

    I would hope you’re not going to do this because you feel other people are making you do this. I mean, otherwise you’re just letting other people push you around, aren’t you?

  2. Tom says:

    Go for it. While you’re at it, why not pile on some other useless items like the Constitution, Bill of Rights (hah, what’s that?), Bible, Torah, and your birth certificate, social security card, etc.? No one can block your right to be an idiot.

  3. Jim says:

    If it’s the dramatic tension you’re worried about, then you should know that the dramatic tension is entirely fictional. The Westboro Baptist Church burned a Quran back in 2008, and nobody really cared much.

  4. J. Clifford says:

    No, I’m doing this because I want to do it, as a statement of protest – a protest against both those who hold the Koran to be sacred, and against those who hold Koran burning to be a sacred act.

    By the way… I’m uploading the video of the Koran burning right now… it’ll be just a few minutes.

  5. Billy says:

    Sounds good, I’m going to burn one to. Just because I can

    1. Fruktata says:

      Good. I burned a Bible too. And a copy of the Upanisads.

  6. Billy says:

    I hope I don’t burn my dick in your moms crotch.

    1. Jim says:

      No worries. Low-oxygen environment.

  7. Jeff says:

    You go, you burners of fanatical religious crackpot literature. I’m going to go buy one just so I can be a part.

  8. Russell says:

    I just burned one. I wonder what it was printed on because the smoke got me really buzzed! Cool…

  9. Mohammed says:

    You infidels!!! I kill you!!! I kill you all in the name of Allah!!! And then I’ll go oppress my women.

  10. Jean says:

    I don’t hink that burning the korans will solve anything. Instead everybody should burn a mosque. Much better. Bigger statement too.

    1. J. Clifford says:

      Now that’s where I don’t follow you, Jean. A burning of your own property, and a small piece of it too, within the fire codes, as a religious statement or political protest is constitutionally protected.

      Burning someone else’s property, a building where people may be gathered inside, in violation of fire codes, in order to force them to stop practicing their religion, is a crime. It’s arson. It’s not an expression of religious freedom. It’s an assault against it.

  11. Unknown says:

    HE didn’t do it story over.

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