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What Will Kill us All This Year?

Bird Flu? That’s so 2005.

Swine flu? Two years past the post and no more or less dangerous than regular flu.

Satanic cults? Since 1987, they have gone completely underground, surfacing only on occasion to engage in ritualistic mass torture of algae.

I know that this year’s color is honeysuckle pink, but I have no idea what this year’s freakout fearfest might be. Malfunctioning Furbys? Nitrogen? What do you think?

One thought on “What Will Kill us All This Year?”

  1. Hendrix says:

    Let’s hope, for CNN sake, that it’s radioactive mutants crawling out of the Pacific.

    Or perhaps it will be this little bugger. “Researchers have dubbed the newly discovered pathogen Severe Fever with Thrombocytopenia Syndrome virus, and placed it in the Bunyaviridae family, along with the hantaviruses…”

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

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