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Homeland Insecurity Alert! Al Qaeda to attack us with… BEANS

Do you remember when they used to try to scare us with stories about nuclear weapons in suitcases? Did you notice we don’t hear that one any more? These days, the Homeland Security are reaching deep down into their bag of fear stories, so deep that they’ve pulled out this one:

For more than a year, according to classified intelligence reports, Al Qaeda’s affiliate in Yemen has been making efforts to acquire large quantities of castor beans, which are required to produce ricin, a white, powdery toxin…

You read that right: the TERRORISTS are COLLECTING BEANS! Castor beans. You know, of the kind used to make castor oil, which is much more likely to loosen Americans’ bowels than this latest report.

If this really is a terrorist threat, then I encourage you to report these home-grown terrorist organizations:

Millington Seed Co. of Michigan, offering a packet of 10 castor beans for the low, low price of $1.99
Georgia Vines of Georgia, offering a packet of 5 castor beans for the premium price of $2.25
Bouncing Bear Botanicals of Kansas, selling packets of 5 castor beans for utter rip-off price of $5.00

International orders are welcome,” declares the Islamofascist 5th Column Bouncing Bear Botanicals. That’s aiding and abetting terrorism, chums, and that’ll earn you a one-way ticket to the gulag if John McCain and Joseph Lieberman get their way.

Terrorist plants, ready to be sowed and to sprout and to grow … right here on American soil! Someone tell Juval Aviv.

One thought on “Homeland Insecurity Alert! Al Qaeda to attack us with… BEANS”

  1. ChillS says:

    The castor bean produces a very toxic substance called ricin. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ricin

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