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Jack Fellure for President Against Bacon and Butter 2012!

Jack Fellure is running for President in 2012 with a simple agenda: Change the federal government so that it is in absolute complicity to the King James Bible. Fellure writes, “My Presidential Campaign Platform is the Authorized 1611 King James Bible. God Almighty wrote that Book as the supreme constitution and absolute authority in the affairs of all men for all time and eternity. It shall never be necessary to change it.”

You know what this means, of course. If Jack Fellure is elected President, bacon will be banished!

Leviticus chapter 3, verse 17, in the King James version of the Christian Bible, after all, states, “It shall be a perpetual statute for your generations throughout all your dwellings, that ye eat neither fat nor blood.”

No fat means no bacon. It means no butter, too. Ice cream would be banned as well.

I think that Mr. Fellure needs to elaborate on the anti-fat portion of his platform, though. Would he incorporate plant-based oils such as canola in the prohibition on fat, or would only animal-produced lipids be banned?

5 thoughts on “Jack Fellure for President Against Bacon and Butter 2012!”

  1. mike s says:

    >I think that Mr. Fellure needs to elaborate on the anti-fat portion of his platform..

    Yes! In fact, among all candidates he is going to have to produce one hell of a disclosure statement! He’ll have to take a position on hundreds of biblical matters. If we are going to bring back stoning, we need to know exactly who and for what reasons.

  2. Citizens For A Better Veterans Home says:

    Citizens For A Better Veterans Home, not necessarily a blanket endorsement,

    we have some ambitious goals ahead of us, but building a new political party from the ground-up is nothing short of an ambitious effort. Don’t confuse being ambitious with being unrealistic. This is totally within reach and if there were ever a point in history at which the status quo were vulnerable to disruption, we’re at that point.

    All we need are a few committed people who believe in themselves and their ability to create change. I look forward to working with you all and please expect more frequent updates in the future.

    Sincerely, Ash Roughani
    Founder, California Moderate Party
    615 28th St. #B
    Sacramento, CA 95816

  3. Wayne Eventer says:

    I know this is old, but the photograph in the article isn’t of Jack Fellure. It’s Gary Alford, the guy who created the website linked to at the beginning of the article. Alford is simply a supporter. The real Jack Fellure is an old guy whose picture could be found with a Google search.

  4. Evangelist: Miss Wendy J Morris says:

    I agree with you one hundred percent and Obama is nothing more than a devil that is leading us into destruction trying to form a one world government. Even though I am a democratic, its does not matter because I stand for righteousness and I love God with my entire heart and soul. I will be voting for you!!!!

  5. Gary Alford says:

    You idiots are so sloppy in your research that you posted a photo of me, The Sword of 1611 website owner, as Jack Fellure. Ha ha. The Jack Fellure information is just one page on my website.

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

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