Jack Fellure for President Against Bacon and Butter 2012!
Jack Fellure is running for President in 2012 with a simple agenda: Change the federal government so that it is in absolute complicity to the King James Bible. Fellure writes, “My Presidential Campaign Platform is the Authorized 1611 King James Bible. God Almighty wrote that Book as the supreme constitution and absolute authority in the affairs of all men for all time and eternity. It shall never be necessary to change it.”
You know what this means, of course. If Jack Fellure is elected President, bacon will be banished!
Leviticus chapter 3, verse 17, in the King James version of the Christian Bible, after all, states, “It shall be a perpetual statute for your generations throughout all your dwellings, that ye eat neither fat nor blood.”
No fat means no bacon. It means no butter, too. Ice cream would be banned as well.
I think that Mr. Fellure needs to elaborate on the anti-fat portion of his platform, though. Would he incorporate plant-based oils such as canola in the prohibition on fat, or would only animal-produced lipids be banned?