This morning, it was noted that the occupation movement inspired by the Occupy Wall Street has expanded to all seven continents, including Antarctica. There’s one place on Earth where there has not been an occupation protest yet, however, and that’s the North Pole…
…until now. Krampus, horned spirit of winter holiday mischief and independent presidential candidate, has announced his intention to begin an occupation protest right on the Arctic ice, right outside of Santa’s office window.
“Santa’s workshop is a sweatshop,” Krampus said in his press release. “The elves do 99 percent of the work, but Santa and Mrs. Claus take all the credit, and all the milk and cookies.” Santa’s elves have never received any wages at all. They are categorized as “permanent interns”. Reindeer are routinely asked to fly all night without any overtime pay, and without flight insurance.
“The days in which Big Santa can just creep down people’s chimneys in the middle of the night without being noticed are over,” Krampus said. “The man in the red suit paid no taxes at all last year, and appears to have given substantial gifts, year after year, to each and every member of Congress, as well as the President. He wants us to focus on the toys, but in reality, it’s all about Pay To Play. Santa can check his list all he wants, but we will Occupy the North Pole until we can move beyond the facade of ho ho ho, and start seeing progress on real solutions.”