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Secular Activists: Let’s Make Rick Santorum Vomit

Secular Americans, there’s good news for us. Rick Santorum has given us a simple, practical means to defeat his extremist campaign for President. The tactic we must now take: Provoke theocratic bulimia.

Rick Santorum says that just hearing about the separation of church and state makes him want to throw up. Well, no one, not even the most fervent Christian fundamentalist, can campaign for President while constantly bending over a toilet.

anti-santorum political button 2012If Rick Santorum wants to vomit every time he hears that the government can’t be made into a tool for pushing people into religious worship, well, that’s his choice. I say that we ask him to prove the depth of his feeling.

Let’s send letters to Santorum, with no other content than the message, “Mr. Santorum, I support the separation of church and state.” Every time he reads one of these letters, Santorum will get the urge to puke. At every campaign appearance, a secular activist can stand up and say, “I support the separation of church and state!” Santorum will have to run off the stage.

After a few days of this approach, and Rick Santorum should be too weak to go on. Then, as soon as he withdraws from the race, we’ll send him a box of saltine crackers out of compassion.

When Santorum’s constitution is adequately recovered, he can campaign for the honorable position of Prime Minister of Hyperbole.

9 comments to Secular Activists: Let’s Make Rick Santorum Vomit

  • Get rid of all Republicans, especially ricky santorum, all he wnats to do is shove his religious crap down our throats and hi sick beliefs at us. He is against womens borthcontrol rights because he himself got stuck with a disabled child, probably because he would not allow his wife to have her pregnancy checked, so yes he has an agenda and that is to hurt all women because he is hurt. Hurt people hurt people. Get rick out and all republicans out and every republican governor and senator out. They do not care about anyone but their own sick agendas.

  • Bill

    Activist? Check. Secular? Mmm…maybe not so much. Nonetheless, Little Ricky and his Inquisition-era delusions make me…well, you know. Can I still participate?

  • Charles Manning (manning120)

    Prime Minister of Hyperbole is a good title for Santorum. He invariable exaggerates irrationally. For example, he said if you believe in same-sex marriage, you have to support polygamy. If you believe in gay rights, you must support bestiality and pedophilia. If you believe in separation of church and state, you’re against religious people having any say in what transpires in our country. If you favor contraception, you’re supporting abortion on demand.

    Kennedy, in the speech to the Houston ministerial group that Santorum says almost made him want to throw up, said

    “I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute—where no Catholic prelate would tell the President (should he be Catholic) how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishoners for whom to vote—where no church or church school is granted any public funds or political preference—and where no man is denied public office merely because his religion differs from the President who might appoint him or the people who might elect him.”

    Predictably, that’s where Santorum puts his focus. I believe he’s confused the issue.

    Let’s admit that the American Kennedy believed in doesn’t exist. Kennedy’s church routinely tells the President how he should act; protestant ministers tell parishioners for whom to vote; church schools, and other institutions run by churches for secular purposes, such as hospitals, are granted public funds and political preference. Atheists are denied public office (I believe one atheist managed to slip into Congress).

    The conservatives, like Santorum, ardently desire to have Christianity be to the U.S. as Islam is to Iran. However, non-conservatives thus far have preserved to a great extent a government where laws lacking a secular purpose are not enacted or accepted. Otherwise, religion has total freedom in this country. Believers in freedom of religion, as well as freedom from religion, should resist any efforts to change that. We need to work on insuring that the secular purposes are intelligent ones, and protecting our country from conservatives who, in the public square, subordinate rational purpose to religious belief.

  • what-the

    I wonder, has religion ever done anything good? what about white men? have they done anything good ever?

  • longtail

    Theocratic bulimia……………good one.

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