Reading the Auras of The Presidential Candidates
Earlier this week, as I was driving late at night through a barren patch of western wilderness, the only signal I could catch on the AM radio was of a show on paranormal activity, featuring Pam Oslie, a “consultant” who claims the ability to read auras. As I listened to her speak, I felt a surge of energy burst through me, coming with the simultaneous recognition that I had a similar power, as of yet untapped.
The first aura I read was the one from my car. It was flashing yellow, warning me that the engine was about to run out of gasoline.
During the long moonlit walk to the nearest town, I resolved that the first human auras I would read would be those of the Republican presidential candidates. So, three hours later, I pulled up the scratchy motel blankets, turned the TV to MSNBC, and waited.
The candidate to appear on the screen was Ron Paul. His aura contained alternating stripes of white, black and brown, which converged as I watched the aura, so that the white stripes grew larger over time. These stripes came to dominate, so that there was soon white supremacy throughout the aura, with nothing but white purity. Whatever that might suggest about Ron Paul’s political personality, I just couldn’t say.
Next to appear was Newt Gingrich. His aura first appeared to be a purple color, which took on a sickly tone, then quickly turned to orange, and then, after appearing to stay true to this second color, developed an open patch, and then turned to a bright spring green.
Before long, Mitt Romney‘s picture came up. The aura was dark black, and then it turned white, and then turned black again.
Finally, Rick Santorum‘s image flashed on the screen. His aura was thick brown, but frothy. I stared at his aura for the longer time, but to be honest, I just couldn’t figure out what his energy was all about. What on earth is thick, brown and frothy?
Obviously, though my spiritual power is undeniable, I have to work at mastering its mysterious symbolism.