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Chris Christie Uses Big Government Powers To Go Zoom In Helicopters

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has been hailed by many Republicans as their party’s best potential candidate for President. He’s rude. He’s crude. Republican voters seem to like this, mistaking his aggression for strength.

One thing that Republicans say that they’re always against is big government waste. Recently, however, Chris Christie has been literally flying around inside a big hunk of government waste.

helicopter go zoom across new jersey!Data show that Governor Christie has been flying around all over New Jersey in a helicopter owned by the state at the rate of one helicopter ride every four days. Christie says that it’s vitally necessary for him to go zoom in a chopper in order to get to his meetings on time. The alternative, he says, is to drive like a madman down New Jersey highways at 90 miles per hour.

Christie pouts, “I’m not going to be with four children driving around the state at 90 miles an hour trying to make stuff. I put my life at risk and I put the lives of other people at risk. When it’s appropriate to use the helicopter I will.”

Four children?!? Chris Christie’s kids don’t need to be at his New Jersey government meetings, do they? What are they doing in that helicopter?

What kind of executive leader sets up a schedule so poorly organized, with meetings so tightly packed at distant locations that he has to use a helicopter a couple of times a week just to keep up? Christie looks like he can’t manage his own calendar.

Christie is the Governor, and he has ample space to hold meetings at his offices. There’s no reason people can’t come to him for meetings, instead of him careening through the skies to go to remote locations… or relatively remote locations.

New Jersey isn’t a big state. A person ought to be able to drive the length of it in a couple of hours, easily, and to drive across it in an hour. The underlying problem that Chris Christie isn’t addressing is that the road traffic in New Jersey is outrageously clogged. That’s the case, in part, because Governor Christie has neglected to fund adequate mass transit systems in the state. Christie even cancelled construction on a new train tunnel from New Jersey into Manhattan that would have created significant reductions in traffic.

In a place as thickly populated as New Jersey, most people shouldn’t have to get in a car to go from one place to another – but right now, they do, and most people don’t have helicopters at their beck and call as a fun backup mode of transportation.

4 thoughts on “Chris Christie Uses Big Government Powers To Go Zoom In Helicopters”

  1. Tom says:

    Bureaucratic double-speak, that roughly translates to “my pizza is ready in Hoboken,” can be spoken by the right honorable governor to explain away the absolute NEED for the use of this helicopter. What you don’t understand is that this is only temporary while his state-funded (funnelled away from “education”) jet-pack is being readied.
    In a briefly televised message (at 2:17:03 – 2:17:12 a.m. on Tuesday morning, between two info-mercials) by a Mr. R. Fello, chancellor of the department of fine tuning of parameters:

    “(eh-hem) They’re having a little trouble adjusting the thrusters to compensate for the extreme demand on lift capability.”

    Seems the design specs call for fuel tanks the size of the Saturn rocket, but they’re working on it and will try to have it ready for his next term.

  2. Jim Cook says:

    What do you MEAN New Jersey isn’t a big state? Why, you can have breakfast at the southern tip and still be driving out of Newark by morning tea time! We cannot neglect the importance of morning tea time!

  3. Tom says:

    Hey, maybe Arctic drilling will be delayed or shelved by “market forces” as a bad deal.

    Probably not though.

  4. Bill says:

    A Sikorsky Flying Crane, maybe?
    I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

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