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Hockey Is Violent? Stop The WordPresses!

CNN, the most trusted source in news that’s arranged to have itself broadcast in airports around the country, is leading tonight with the headline: Hockey Playoffs Turn Violent.

Also in the news today:

Springtime Becoming Warmer As Weeks Pass

Presidential Election Turns Negative

Cats Caught Chasing Mice On Viral YouTube Video

People Caught In Sudden Rainstorm Become Wet

Pickles Turn Sour

Thanks for keeping us up to date with these continuing developments, CNN.

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!