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Massive Quakes and Volcanic Destruction? I’m Still Waiting for God’s Mini-Me

Self-proclaimed religious psychic visionary Linda Newkirk has issued her latest prophecy in an e-mail blast:

“Massive Quake/Volcanic Destruction Imminent!”

Oh dear! But I’m not quite convinced it’s time to go out and buy a lava-repellent helmet. In December 2009 Linda Newkirk issued a prophecy that within just a few months, amid a wave of drug fiends, satanic kidnappers and mind-control rays, the messianic Son of God would “be known to the whole world.”

Are you the Son of God? Have you told the whole world? Or did you forget that bit with all the laundry to to do and the appointment with the dog groomer and all?

One thought on “Massive Quakes and Volcanic Destruction? I’m Still Waiting for God’s Mini-Me”

  1. Tom says:

    With the internet these “predictions” aren’t as impressive as in the days when the Oracle would “devine” them in a dream state. This lady probably watches dutchsinse’s youtube channel like i do and sees that volcanic action is WAY up this year and that even old dormant ones are spewing ash clouds and “waking up.”

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?