Browse By

Republicans In Congress Whine That Their Political Destiny Isn’t Coming True

Have you ever noticed that people who believe that they are part of a greater destiny tend to whine a lot? It makes sense, if you think about it. They’re dead sure that their future has already been decided, and so they while away their days just waiting for their destiny to arrive.

Inevitably, destiny starts looking like it’s going to be late, if it ever will come at all, and signs of deviation from the certain future start appearing. These signs make the believers in destiny to look a little bit stupid, and so the believers start to stomp and fume. Instead of re-examining their beliefs, they rage against the people and events that dare to dissent from their vision of a certain future.

That’s just what’s happened with a group of Republicans in the U.S. House of Representatives. They’re members of a political cult called American Exceptionalism, and they’ve identified a threat to their cult in the Obama White House: Lack of a clear mission for the USA in outer space.

Yesterday, this group of Republican politicians introduced H. Con. Res. 124, a resolution “expressing the sense of the Congress that President Obama’s delays in implementing a clear mission for the American space program represent a clear threat to American Exceptionalism”.

outer space american exceptionalism

The names of the members of this pouting little group of congressional believers in outer space destiny are:
Randy Hultgren (Republican-IL, District 14)
Sandy Adams (Republican-FL, District 24)
Rob Bishop (Republican-UT, District 1)
Mo Brooks (Republican-AL, District 5)
Jason Chaffetz (Republican-UT, District 3)
John Culberson (Republican-TX, District 7)
Steven LaTourette (Republican-OH, District 14)
Pete Olson (Republican-TX, District 22)
Steven Palazzo (Republican-MS, District 4)
Ted Poe (Republican-TX, District 2)
Bill Posey (Republican-FL, District 15)
Tom Price (Republican-GA, District 6)
Lamar Smith (Republican-TX, District 21)
Allen West (Republican-FL, District 22)
Frank Wolf (Republican-VA, District 10)
Kevin Yoder (Republican-KS, District 3)

There’s a little flaw with their legislation, of course. American Exceptionalism is the belief that the United States of America has a predetermined destiny: To become greater than all other nations and to spread its influence far and wide. The cosponsors of H. Con. Res. 124 clearly believe that space travel has a central role in America’s destiny. They believe that there’s something necessary about space ships owned by the United States in whatever the future holds.

Maybe they grew up watching Star Trek. Maybe they believe that outer space is the home of the gods. Maybe they’re still waiting for the gadgetry of The Jetsons to show up. I don’t know what their vision of America’s destiny in outer space is, specifically, other than to say that they believe that America’s destined greatness is being interfered with by a failure to come up with outer space missions that have what they deem to be sufficient pizazz. Buck Rogers has not yet arrived, and someone must be held accountable.

If these astro-politicians would take a minute to calm down and think things through, they would realize that there’s really no point to H. Con. Res. 124. There’s no use in battling over destiny. If there is such a thing as destiny, it is by definition destined to come true. Nothing so trifling as a lack of focus on spaceships by the President of the United States can prevent true destiny from coming true.

If there really is a predetermined plan for greatness of the USA through journeys into outer space, then it will come to pass, and doesn’t need the help of a congressional resolution. If, on the other hand, there is no real outer space destiny of American Exceptionalism, well, what’s the big fuss about? Members of Congress can still get out toy spaceships and Star Wars action figures and play with them after all the interns have gone home.

7 thoughts on “Republicans In Congress Whine That Their Political Destiny Isn’t Coming True”

  1. Jerry Thomas says:

    To the extent we focus on outer space, shouldn’t we place our focus on propulsion and the feasibility of time travel?

    1. Dove says:

      Propulsion is only as important as what is being propelled. Time travel is off the table.

      1. Peregrin Wood says:

        Well, of course time travel is off the table. If it never got off the table, it wouldn’t be time travel would it? No, it would just be plain old boring time.

        1. Dove says:

          My response has let me into a rhetorical paradox. If it’s “on the table” not going anywhere, it’s still up for discussion, but if it has been tabled, it’s not up for discussion.

  2. Peregrin Wood says:

    To the extent that we focus on building a mountaintop love palace for the Secretary of Commerce, shouldn’t we place our focus on golden bathtubs and diamond chandeliers?

  3. Tom Betz says:

    Wow, a Commerce Department region spends what any corporation of its size would spend on a convention (and an amount that is equal to the rounding error on one wasteful Pentagon weapons program like the F-22) and it morphs in the know-nothing mind to a mountaintop love palace for the Secretary of Commerce.

    1. Peregrin Wood says:

      Does it? Do you have a photograph of that, Mr. Betz?

      The point is to illustrate the presumptions of the questions asked by Jerry Thomas by mirroring his rhetorical structure, not to make a specific critique of any love palaces that might be secretly held by the Secretary of Commerce.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!