Vlad The Impaler for President 2012
For the past three presidential terms, the United States has been moving away from constitutional freedoms, and toward the status of just another security state. If that’s the choice that Americans really want to make, I suppose that we have to go along with the democratic process. However, if we’re going to go for totalitarianism in the USA, I say that we ought to go whole hog.
If we’re doing the Homeland Security thing, we need a leader who will do whatever it takes to protect the homeland – including lining up America’s impaled enemies on stakes outside the White House, and drinking the hot blood of terrorists with their hearts still beating in their chests. Homeland America needs Vlad the Impaler for President in 2012!
Vlad beat the Muslims hundreds of years ago, and sure, he employed some unorthodox methods, but they didn’t call him “dragon” for nothing!
Vlad the Impaler is the only true outsider in the 2012 presidential race. Prince Dracul is not from Washington D.C. He’s not from America. Heck, he’s not even from the pre-Industrial era. Since his transformation, the Transylvanian Tyrant isn’t even human.
Vlad the Impaler is the only presidential candidate who can help Americans get beyond the tired old divisions that keep the living and the dead separated. He has his own wealth, of old Roman gold coins and of centuries worth of blood, so he won’t be accountable to any special interests… other than the ones he has himself.
Maybe it’s not too late for Count Dracula to run for President using the Americans Elect system. An undead political party would be a perfect match for an undead presidential candidate, don’t you think?