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How to Safely Predict a Disaster

The safest way to predict a disaster is not to predict anything. Kirk Elliott of the Asset Preservation Institute demonstrates the technique in an e-mail blasted out to the world this week:

Red Alert!

Important Announcement

For many years we have been providing information regarding the destruction of America, the collapse of the currency and the economy, the looming hyperinflation and the global transformation towards a totalitarian police state run by the bankers and eleitsis etc. towards a new world order. We have always stressed to prepare for the worst.
Act now! The time frame for a major event in the U.S. is believed to be tomorrow morning to three months and on the outside timing six months to one year plus.

API is signing off line as of July 30th, 2012 and strongly urges you to contact Dr. Kirk Elliott at 1.866.211.8986 for a private review and consultation.

You heard Kirk Elliott! Call him now and arrange for that major milking of dollars consultation. A “major event” is happening tomorrow morning! Or in three months! Or six months, to one year! Plus!

Looking for more details on this impending something? The Asset Preservation Institute website elaborates, sort of:

Stage IV Red Alert: Collapse May Be Imminent!

Condition Red! Red Alert! Collapse Imminent! Why, it’s Stage IV! Er, what is Stage IV?

Red Alert: Stage IV:

Hyperinflation destroys purchasing power of currency. Inflation rate doubles on a daily basis. Social chaos arrives. Martial law is invoked. Currency is worthless and is no longer used. A barter system takes over while global governance issues a new currency.

Summary: Central banks and investors around the world will dump the dollar. This will create hyperinflation. Social chaos arrives.

Note: The above warning system is just an overall gauge. Further study and research is strongly recommended.

Now that’s getting specific: being at Red Alert Stage IV means that by tomorrow, or next month, or next year, plus, inflation will double daily, we’ll have martial law, currency will no longer be used and we’ll all retreat to barter systems…

… except that this is all just an overall gauge, and further study and research is needed. So if it doesn’t happen, well, Kirk Elliott can’t actually be nailed to the wall for his prior alarmist statements.

Did I mention that you can call 1-866-211-8986 for a private consultation with this fella? I’m sure the fees are absolutely minimal compared to the price of utter social collapse. Besides, as Elliott points out, by tomorrow or next month currency will collapse anyway, so it doesn’t matter what you pay him, right? Although I guess that means Elliott should be only taking barter for his services if he knows what’s good for him. Why don’t you give Elliott a call and ask if he’ll accept a chicken for his consultation services?

4 thoughts on “How to Safely Predict a Disaster”

  1. Tom says:

    Here’s a disaster for ya:

    A mass shooting happens every FIVE days in America: Interactive map shows how gun violence is an epidemic sweeping the nation

    Last Friday’s mass shooting in Aurora, Colorado, in which 12 people were brutally gunned down and more than 50 people injured, is only the latest tragedy involving rampant gun violence sweeping the nation, according to a prominent anti-gun group.

    The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, a nonprofit lobbying group, has compiled an extensive list of the last 431 shootings with more than one victim since 2005, sharing their data with the Daily Beast to create an elaborately detailed map that depicts the unimaginable scope of the senseless horrors.

    The organization’s data says that since 2005, there has been a multiple-victim shooting every 5.9 days in the United States, with 87 people dying of bullet wounds each day. The most dangerous city for mass shootings is Chicago, the organization said, which has suffered through 17 shootings and resulting in 30 deaths and 72 injuries. Of those shootings, thirteen occurred in public places.

    New Orleans, Kansas City and Philadelphia were all tied for the second bloodiest American cities, with nine shootings in the seven-year span.

    The map, which was created by Daily Beast interactive designer Michael Keller and data scientist Brian Abelson, organizes each shooting by the city, state, number of casualties and number injured, as well as whether or not the incidents were gang related or not and whether or not they occurred in a public place.

    Users can also enter in an address and find out the nearest mass shooting that has occurred near their homes, schools or place of work. The map also links to news articles and personal testimonies of people affected by the shootings to provide a chilling context to the data visualization.” (see map)

  2. Tom says:

    In other news you won’t hear, Robert Holmes, the father of alleged Aurora shooter James Holmes, who is a leading scientist at FICO (the company that sets credit scores), is scheduled to testify in the upcoming LIBOR scandal hearings.

    (more links below once you click above)

  3. Jim Cook says:

    A year later, of course, none of those things has come to pass. And yet at its Facebook page, the Asset Preservation Institute continues to declare that “The time for action is now. The hour is at hand” with the collapse of American currency and hyperinflation imminent. Just around the corner. Any day now. Really.

    1. Bill says:

      Yeah, it’s that “plus” (as in, ‘from here to infinity’) that will get you every time, huh? Kinda like my phone company, which assures me my DSL service will provide me with “up to” 3 MB/sec service (as in, ‘from zero to 3″).

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