Every time I hear someone use the phrase “prepper”, my mind goes back to an advertising campaign for Dr. Pepper: I’m a prepper. He’s a prepper. She’s a prepper. We’re all preppers. Wouldn’t you like to be a prepper too?
“Prepper” is just too peppy a name for what it describes: Someone who is convinced that the end of civilization as we know it is just around the corner, and is stockpiling weapons and supplies to prepare for the disasters soon to come. Preppers make up a large part of the National Rifle Association’s constituency. They can believe that Barack Obama is going to send “jack booted thugs” into their homes to steal their guns because they also can believe that the Antichrist is getting ready to begin the fun and games of the End Times.
Preppers have a low threshold for belief, I think, because the pattern recognition routines in their brains have gone haywire, and they’ve become used to making connections between everything and anything, creating intricate flowcharts of paranoia in which everything becomes evidence that only a fool would not keep a year’s supply of food, water and assault weapons in an underground bunker.
This hyperconnectivity is on exhibit in a list of 50 Shocking Questions That You Should Ask To Anyone Who Is Not A Prepper Yet. The idea is that these questions, in themselves, are so shocking in their implications that they will spontaneously cause people to hoard food and weapons in little hidey holes.
Among these “shocking questions”:
- Why has Germany announced that it will be moving gold from New York and Paris to its own vaults back home?
- Why are more Americans not outraged that nearly 400 TSA employees have been fired for stealing from travelers since 2003?
- Why is the UN trying to take control of the Internet?
- Why can so few Americans explain how money is created in the United States?
- Why did a violent riot break out at an event where government-subsidized section 8 housing vouchers were being handed out in a suburb of Detroit earlier this month?
- Why was a Forbes article that made a connection between the use of psychiatric drugs and the mass shootings that we have seen in recent years almost immediately taken down from the Internet?
- Why don't more Americans know about the quadrillion dollar derivatives bubble?
Did these questions work? Are you quivering on the floor in your basement, hugging a rifle, yet?