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The March 2013 Obama Microchip Comes With A Side of…

Over the past year or so, right-wing and libertarian websites like News With Views, These Last Days News and Polidics have been busy spreading the story that under the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act signed by Barack Obama all Americans will be forcibly implanted with a trackable RFID microchip by March 23, 2013. The stories claim to show the microchip provision in “black and white,” and frequently tie the supposed microchip implantation to the “mark of the beast” and Christian End Times:

"In just a minute I’m going to show you the black and white of the law itself and you can see it with your own eyes and wonder why an event of this magnitude which is nothing less than seismic in nature is met with little more than silence in the Christian community.

Is it now starting to dawn on you just where exactly we are in prophecy?"

"Children who are "born in the United States who at the time of birth is not otherwise covered under acceptable coverage" will be qualified and placed into the CHIP or Children's Health Insurance Program (what a convenient name). With a name like CHIP it would seem consistent to have the chip implanted into a child. Children conceived by parents who are already covered under the public option will more than likely be implanted with a chip by the consent of the parent. Eventually everyone will be implanted with a chip.

The Technology for the Mark of the Beast is Here Now."

I won’t provide a hyperlink to those stories here because I don’t want to provide them credence-through-link-juice, but if you enter the above text into a search engine you’ll be sure to find them.

The stories are, of course, utter bunkum. Hogwash. Falsehood. Nonsense. As F.G. Fitzer pointed out last month, you can search the text of the Act for yourself; there’s absolutely nothing in the Act that says anything about the date March 23, 2013, or a “microchip,” or “RFID,” or an “implant,” or “implantation.” There simply are no microchip implantation provisions in the Act; they’re entirely made up by creative hoaxers.

I find hoaxes like these fascinating partially because I admire the chutzpah of people who make up stuff like this, but mostly because fake stories highlight the thought processes of the people who believe them and spread them without making the slightest effort to check the facts. What kind of people would believe and pass on such nonsense? Rather than sit in my armchair and spin some of my own stories about what the Obama-microchip-believers must be like, I’ve gone out and found some of them.

The following are the people who have taken to Twitter in the past 24 hours to credulously proclaim the doom of an Obamacare microchip implantation. I’ve read through their other public Twitter posts to find out a little bit more about them.

TaylaAnn2: a big fan of Wrestlemania.

CamiloMarino: also wrote that “There’s no such thing as coincidence, everything happens for a reason.”

Bill AmericanHorse(tm): a member of the “Patriot Army” who has issued a call to armed #Revolution: “IF you Value your rights and are prepared to defend them with your life if nesc? Contact me.. #LetsRoll !!!!”

FoxxxieLadie also tweets “Our president doesn’t deserve to celebrate president’s day. Damn I fucking hate Obama!”

DarlenePartens also tweets “If your feeling lost just wait a few days God already knows the plan” and “@NewLatinoCons They probably call them “crisps” like other UNAMERICANS!”

OpolyGame is the “Creator / Producer of the 1st Obama Monopoly game that highlights the miserably failed policies known as Obamanomics,” which is advertised at $34.95 on “Patriot Radio.”

When you order a main dish of Obama microchip conspiracy, these come on the side.

4 thoughts on “The March 2013 Obama Microchip Comes With A Side of…”

  1. Bill says:

    I got my obamachip last week down at the county building when I went to apply for food stamps. It’s not so bad. It only hurts for a little bit, until the black tendrils are finished growing out of it under your skin. But the dull red glow from it did keep me awake at night, until I started wrapping my wrist in electrical tape before bed.

    I don’t get how this thing is supposed to work, though. At the store today I presented the underside of my wrist for scanning, just like the lady at the county building (I think she had a tail under her skirt!) showed me how to. But the clerk just looked at me and said “We don’t give handouts to homeless people. Get out of here before I call the cops.” I guess they still have some bugs to work out of the system.

  2. Karina Banegas says:

    That the mark of the best is going to happen, its written in revlations in the bible that no man rich or poor may buy or sell with out the mark in there right hand or forhead. But before this becomes a law for people to have it inserted. Our lord and savior Jesus Christ will come for his people, his church , his wife. So my advice would be get right with God & reach the plan of salvtion because greater is he that is in you than the one thats in the world!

    1. F.G. Fitzer says:

      Why wouldn’t I want the mark of the best? You say God’s plan is greater, but you can’t get greater than the mark of the best!

  3. Enioluwafe taiwo says:

    Bible has told us all we need to know.if it is the mark of the beast or not lets abstain from it lest we enter eternal doom and lets be closer to God

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