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Store Owners Outraged At Sexual Innuendo Added To Scheme To Cheat Customers

Lottery tickets don’t pay off. It’s a fact. The statistics of scratch-off gambling cards are very easy to understand. On the whole, people who play the games lose money. The games are set up to create more losers than winners, and the more that people play, the more likely it is that they’ll lose money.

Yet, people play the games. They do that, because gambling schemes like scratch-off lottery cards are set up to create the false appearance that players actually have a reasonable chance of coming out ahead, or even winning big. Lottery schemes are deceptive, and they’re targeted at the people who can are least able to withstand the financial losses that result from playing.

Lottery scratch-off games are a nasty sort of exploitation. The businesses that sell the gambling cards have decided to make profits by cheating desperate people out of their money. It’s one of the most immoral forms of business that a person can engage in.

In Maine, however, the convenience store owners who make money by selling lottery scratch-off cards are now complaining about the immorality of the business. Oh, they’re not concerned about cheating people with gambling schemes. They’re worried that one of the new lottery scratch-off cards that’s being made available for them to sell has a name that could be interpreted as sexual innuendo.

The scratch off card is called The Kwikie. Get it? It sounds like “quickie”, which is slang for quick sex, and quick sex is… well, it’s not so bad if you don’t have the time for nice, long slow sex.

Everyone who is buying Kwikie lottery scratch off cards is an adult. Everyone who’s authorized to sell the cards is an adult. So what’s the problem?

Are we really supposed to believe that clerks who are selling people gambling tickets, and beer, and cigarettes, and chewing tobacco, and pornographic magazines can’t handle hearing a customer say, “I’d like a Kwikie”?

Let he who is without sin throw the first Kwikie.

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