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Tennessee Politicians Save Their Constituents From A Muslim Conspiracy Of Cleanliness

The Tennesseean reports today that a coalition of Republican state legislators in Nashville, led by Representative Judd Matheny and Senator Bill Ketron, has been trying to clean the Tennessee state legislature of any sign of Muslim identity. Matheny and Ketron were outraged, when a new cleaning device appeared in the Tennessee state capitol.

They feared that the device, which appeared low to the floor in a corner of a bathroom, with a drain and a small hose included, had been put in place to help Muslims wash their feet before prayer. Matheny and Ketron were deeply concerned at the idea that people might be walking around the Tennessee state capitol building with clean feet. The whole idea sounded dangerously… Islamic

So, the Republican legislators went to the Tennessee State Senate Clerk with their concerns, and after some investigation, the clerk reported back the terrible truth: The new device in the state capitol bathroom was for cleaning mops.

What’s next? Will followers of Osama Bin Laden demand that we start washing our hands before eating dinner? It’s Sharia, I tell you! Sharia!

Thank you, Tennessee Republicans, for keeping your priorities straight, protecting us from the Muslim menace of clean floors.

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?