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You Want Me To Pay On What?

This afternoon, I saw the following sign inside a place of business:

Shop Sign: Payment is Expected Upon Services Rendered

I think what the sign means to say is that “payment is expected when services are rendered,” but that’s not what it says, and it turns out this phrase is repeated on the internet. The provision of some services might produce acceptable surfaces for the accepting of payment:

At Lindsey’s Equine Services, you can just stick it under the saddle.

At Michelle Frieswyk Johnson’s psychotherapy service, you can stick it in her ear.

At Shekinah Glory Music Studio, you can drop it in the sound hole.

But for other services, you’ve got to wonder:

At Hit the Spot Canine Massage, do you leave a tip between the ears of under the tail?

Same goes for the horse massage business, except with a swifter kick.

At the Healing Pathways Cancer Clinic, which suggests a coffee enema might do the trick, you’ve got to wonder about how fungible the deposit of liquid assets might be.

At Dr. Kenna Brooke’s naturopathic clinic, homeopathic theory suggests that if you owe $1,000 the application of one penny to the cash register should take care of your debt. I think that Dr. Kenna Brooke might beg to differ.

As for me, I was at the vet to have my very old, very sick cat put to sleep. No, thank you, but I’ll be paying upon something else.

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