Browse By

Good News For Residents Of Reality: Michele Bachmann Will Not Be Running For Re-Election

Ding dong! Ring the bells out!

U.S. Representative Michele Bachmann, who has a liberal legislative score of ZERO and a right wing legislative score of 83%, will not be running for re-election in 2014!

michele bachmann eyeBachmann’s erratic behavior and extremist ideology were a heavy political burden to start with, but she could not keep her wacky political coalition together after her disastrous presidential campaign, which combined delusions of grandeur with dramatic ethical lapses, such as paying an Iowa state senator in exchange for political support.

Bachmann explained her decision to withdraw from politics by trying to explain what the decision was not about. “My decision was not influenced by any concerns about my being re-elected,” she said. “This decision was not impacted in any way by the recent inquiries into the activities of my former presidential campaign.”

Okay. Sure. Michele Bachmann simply decided it was time to pursue her lifelong ambition of reading every novel by Isaac Asimov. That’s it.

4 thoughts on “Good News For Residents Of Reality: Michele Bachmann Will Not Be Running For Re-Election”

  1. Mark says:

    I bet she’s planning on following the well-trod Republican path straight to becoming a lobbyist. At least she has the decency to actually finish her term rather than quitting mid-term like our own SC Senator Jim DeMint.

  2. Bill says:

    God, I’ll miss her. She had the rare and precious gift of making everyone around her look intelligent, sane, and attractive.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!