Republican Robots About To Invade Cape Girardeau
Just north of Sikeston, along the Big Muddy, sits the city of Cape Girardeau. It’s a hot, early summer there, and the people of Cape Girardeau would like to be doing nothing more than sitting out on their porches, drinking tall glasses of home-brewed iced tea.
Sadly, this weekend, they don’t have that luxury. Cape Girardeau is about to be invaded by an army of robots… political robots.
FEC records show that an organization called the Strategic Campaign Group Inc. has been hired to unleash an army of robots upon Cape Girardeau and surrounding towns in Missouri’s 8th congressional district. These robots will call upon residents in their homes to deliver a computerized, recorded message:
Vote Jason Smith for Congress... Vote Jason Smith for Congress....
It sounds bizarre, but it’s true. Nobody really knows who’s behind it all. There are a series of organizations and funders, each shuffling money forward in the chain of command. The Strategic Campaign Group Inc. is listed as having an office in an anonymous professional building in Arlington, Virginia. They’ve been hired by the Conservative Strikeforce Super PAC, which also is listed as having an office in an anonymous professional building in Arlington, Virginia.
As for who… or what… is funding the Conservative Strikeforce Super PAC, well, nobody knows. At least, no one is telling. Jason Smith is a candidate in a special election to fill the seat left empty by the sudden departure of Jo Ann Emerson, who left the U.S. House of Representatives to cash out her government connections with a comfy job at an energy association. Officially, it would be against the law for Jason Smith to be connected to the robot army poised to invade the 8th congressional district, or to be in communication with the shadowy organizations pulling the strings in this invasion.
Whatever the truth is, we know a couple of things for certain: 1) This robot army doesn’t appear to be from Missouri 2) The onslaught of “robocalls” is scheduled to begin on Monday, June 3, and continue into Tuesday, June 4.
People of southeastern Missouri, if you want to survive this onslaught intact, unplug your phones now… before it’s too late!