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Barack Obama’s Social Security Number Proves That He’s A Connecticutist!

For years, conspiracy theorists have spread the rumors that Barack Obama was born in Kenya, not in the United States. Because Barack Obama was born in Kenya, they have said, he must be part of an evil Kenyan conspiracy to take over the United States.

Just one thing has been missing from these conspiracy theories: Evidence.

So now, the conspiracy theorists have by and large decided that no, Barack Obama was not born in Kenya. Instead, they have decided, Barack Obama must have been born somewhere else, anywhere else, just not in Honolulu, Hawaii, as the official records show. Obama must have been born somewhere else, they reason, because Obama cannot possibly be who he claims to be.

So, Conspiracy theorists have up with a new idea about a secret birthplace for Barack Obama: Connecticut. Among the proponents of the new theory is Steve Baldwin, who writes, “The one Social Security number Obama most frequently used, the one beginning with 042, is a number issued in Connecticut sometime during 1976-1977, yet there is no record of Obama ever living or working in Connecticut. Indeed, during this time period Obama would have been 15-16 years old and living in Hawaii at the time.”

evil connecticut conspiracySo, Barack Obama was secretly born in Connecticut, huh? You do realize what this means, right?

Well, okay, maybe you don’t. However, by the logic of the conspiracy theorists, a secret birth is a sign of a secret conspiracy, a conspiracy with an agenda that is revealed by the character of the place where the this must mean that Barack Obama is part of a conspiracy to take over the United States, orchestrated by people from Connecticut. After all, Obama’s entire life has been rewritten to obscure the fact that he is from Connecticut, and no one would anyone go to such trouble if there wasn’t something important to cover up.

Actually, the beginning digits of a Social Security number don’t signify where a person was born. They indicate the aree a request for a Social Security number was made. Also, it’s been noted by Snopes that the zip code of Honolulu is just one digit different from the zip code of Danbury, Connecticut, so that the Connecticut-centric Social Security number assigned to Barack Obama could just be the result of a clerical error.

For the conspiracy theorists, however, these explanations are all too simple. They warn us not to lose track of the possibility that we may now have a President of the United States who was born in Connecticut. Connecticut is, after all, the Nutmeg State, and as everybody knows, nutmeg is a potent hallucinogen when taken in large doses.

Besides, it’s not as if we’ve ever had an American President born in Connecticut before. Well, George W. Bush was supposed to have been born in Connecticut, but everyone knows that’s just his cover story, and that Bush was actually the love child of Franklin D. Roosevelt and Patsy Cline, born in a commune in Ecuador, the half brother of Evo Morales, and the uncle of Edward Snowden…

3 thoughts on “Barack Obama’s Social Security Number Proves That He’s A Connecticutist!”

  1. RogerSharp88805 says:

    Mr Fitzer
    If this was 60 years ago your article wouldn’t even have the place of honor that the Sears catelogue had in the outhouse. Your “hole” (pun intented) story is totally distroyed by the SSA. Whether Obama was born in Hawaii, Connecticutt or Kenya makes no difference when it comes to the SS# 042*68*4255 the number Obama is using. You see that number was verified by the SSA “NEVER TO HAVE BEEN ISSUED TO OBAMA!” An attempt to confuse the enlightened won’t work. All you are doing is giving faslse hope to people who are so uneducated now they won’t stop sup[porting Obama even when Obama follows that page out of the Sears catelogue to its final resting place.

    1. F.G. Fitzer says:

      Roger, there are good reasons to oppose Barack Obama as President, and silly reasons to oppose Barack Obama as President.

      Obama’s continuation of George W. Bush’s outrageous electronic surveillance dragnet is one good reason to oppose Barack Obama as President.

      The idea that Barack Obama was secretly born in Kenya, or Connecticut, or Saskatchewan, in order to serve a nefarious Kenyan, Connecticutist, or Saskatchewanian agenda, is a silly reason to oppose Barack Obama as President.

      Intelligent people need to distinguish, pursue the good reasons, and mock the silly reasons.

  2. RogerSharp88805 says:

    Sorry for the typos. I just washed my hands and can’t do a thing weth them.

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