After the Creeping Octopus Satellite Launch, What Next for the National Reconnaissance Office?
The National Reconnaissance Office — “a joint Department of Defense – Intelligence Community organization responsible for developing, launching, and operating America’s intelligence satellites” — has launched NROL 39, its latest payload of classified spy satellites. For every launch, it develops a unique badge and motto. This time around, the badge incorporates an angry, creeping octopus:
“Nothing is Beyond Our Reach.” That’s serious, not a parody. Apparently, the folks in the Homeland Security Design Office haven’t learned from the Office of Information Awareness fiasco to hide how they really feel about their job and where the rest of us sit in relation.
If that’s the way it’s going to be, that’s the way it’s going to be, and we might as well hop on the bandwagon. To help my country in its quest to
unconstitutionally track our every movement and activity listen in on our phone sex defeat the imaginary terrorists, I’d like to offer the following suggestions for the badges and mottos of future launches.
NROL-40: Stampeding Elephant with a Hard Drive between its Eyes. Motto: “We Never Forget.”
NROL-41: Parrotfish. Motto: “We Chew It, We Poo It. Ain’t Life a Beach?”
NROL-42: Mosquito. Motto: “Suck First, Poison Later.”
NROL-43: Rabid Squirrel. Motto: “Yeah, We’re Nuts.”
Have you got NROL-44 in mind?