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Depressed Scientists In Denmark Declare Doom Is Nigh-er

thor needs a napI nominate this study from the University of Southern Denmark for the 2013 Depressed Viking Award. The researchers released the study under the title of Collapse Of The Universe Is Closer Than Ever Before.

Did we need a scientific study for to tell us this? The collapse of the universe, if it will happen, will take place in the future, and so, every moment, the destruction of the entire universe is closer than ever before. The destruction of New York City is coming closer too, as is the shutdown of Disneyworld. You don’t see us Americans despairing about it.

Get a grip, Thor.

At least this article was from the University of Southern Denmark. Rumor has it that, up in northern Denmark, a group of scientists suffering from seasonal affective disorder was preparing a paper entitled We’re All Going To Die, So What’s The Point?. Before they could get the bibliography done, though, they just looked at each other over breakfast, and sighed, and went back to bed.

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!