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How to Get into Heaven (the Social Media Way)

How can you get into heaven? Line for Heaven knows.

Line for Heaven is the social media “website for people who are religious or just want to go to Heaven.” According to Line for Heaven, all you need to do to get into heaven is rack up enough “Karma points,” and just as in any religion there’s a hierarchy:

  • Deciding which of your peers is better than the other: 1 point toward Heaven
  • Telling other members what a bad person you are: 5 points toward Heaven
  • Clicking on an advertisement: 5 points toward Heaven
  • Promoting a charitable cause: 20 points toward Heaven
  • Proselytizing a friend to convince them they should join the Line for Heaven: 50 points toward Heaven
  • Giving ten dollars to the Line for Heaven website: 100 points toward Heaven

The most recent convert to the Line for Heaven is advertising “mature escort services” in the UK.

Join the line?

2 thoughts on “How to Get into Heaven (the Social Media Way)”

  1. F.G. Fitzer says:

    Well, you don’t want some young whippersnapper showing you the way up to the pearly gates, do you?

  2. Bill says:

    OK, Line for Heaven is the single creepiest web site I’ve ever seen…and I’ve seen some doozies. From their About page: “Every Sunday (‘Judgment Day’) at 7 PM PST, the first person in Line for Heaven will become an ‘Angel’, inducted into Heaven, and One Degree from God.” I certainly hope we’re speaking metaphorically here.

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?