Browse By

Cabalicious Sex Plans

The traditional, divinely-endorsed form of marriage that we all can agree upon is the union between a man and a woman, just in order to make babies – this is what right activists say, at least. But then, reality confronts their vision of a unified, restrictive marriage state. The majority of Americans actually support the idea that people of identical genders can get married to each other.

Tangibly, marriage law is moving strongly in the direction of equality. More and more states are recognizing the validity of same-sex marriages. In the latest such development, the law in Oklahoma that had prohibited gays and lesbians from getting married was overturned yesterday. It’s unconstitutional it turns out.

alien master parasiteWhat can possibly explain the growing popular success for same-sex marriage? How can it be that a good old American tradition of special status for a restricted group ever change (besides that ending-of-slavery thing, and the votes for women thing)? What’s caused this sudden shift?

Right wing activists cannot fathom that Americans might have simply decided to start being decent to each other, so they’ve come up with an alternative explanation: A secret cabal of humans plotting the destruction of civilization has used advanced technology to implant extraterrestrial parasites into human bodies in order to create a plan to diminish the population by encouraging people to become attracted to members of their own gender. Yes, they’re saying that approval of same-sex marriage has spread because that’s what a bunch of strange creatures flying around in UFOs want – in preparation for an invasion from outer space.

According to this conspiracy theory, the same cabal has collaborated with extraterrestrials to reduce the human population through the purposeful creation of environmental disasters, including the BP oil spill and the tsunami that caused the Fukushima nuclear plant explosion.

Of course, those disasters didn’t actually reduce the human population on Earth, but that only goes to show how devious the alien parasite cabal is… perhaps.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!