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In today’s Bangor Daily News, reporter Mario Moretto writes of a concerned-mother-turned-activist:

Since becoming pregnant with her first boy seven years ago, she has taken steps — from buying organic and local foods to making her own household cleaners to reading product labels — to limit her family’s exposure to chemicals.

A close reading will reveal that 100% of products sold on the shelves of health food stores are composed entirely of chemicals. I imagine that a laboratory analysis of specimens taken from any of the activist’s organs would return a result of shockingly high levels of chemicals. They are everywhere. Curse you, the essential nature of the universe Monsanto!

2 thoughts on “Chemicals!”

  1. J Clifford says:

    I believe, Jim, that you will find that the Internet is 100% chemical-free. It is made completely of tubes.

  2. Bill says:

    Well, she’s certainly to be commended for taking the time and trouble to go organic and locavore out of concern for her family. But, yeah, this whole “OMG — CHEMICALS!” thing drives me nuts, too. It reflects such frightening ignorance. I think a basic chemistry-for-jocks class should be a requirement to graduate from high school in America. It’s a helluva lot more important for the average person than is algebra. There she might have learned that when “making her own household cleaners” it’s an incredibly bad idea to mix household bleach with any acid (say, vinegar), as this of course rapidly produces billowing toxic clouds of highly corrosive chlorine gas (no, really…please don’t try this at home). Oops. “Sorry, honey! I was just trying to protect us from CHEMICALS!”

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