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A Nightmare Of Venti Proportions

This morning, as I was just beginning to wake up, I had a dream that my wife was helping a group of Ethiopian refugees who were having a meeting in a parking lot outside of a shopping mall. I had nothing to do while she attended the meeting, so I went into the mall, and into a Starbucks coffee shop.

In the dream, as in real life, I had never joined any Starbucks frequent coffee drinker club. I don’t much like Starbucks. They’re cold and clinical and too predictable. But, in the dream, I was looking for ways to get more points into my frequent flier account, which I wanted to use for something particular I can’t remember. So, I thought, maybe if I drink enough Starbucks coffee, that will get me a good amount of points.

I picked up an application slip and filled it halfway, when I decided that I had better buy a cup of coffee. When I arrived at the counter, the guy who was there saw that my application was only halfway done, so he offered to complete it for me, pulling a similar piece of paper…

… from the display of vegan foods on the counter.

Hold on, I thought, and looked down at the form in my hands. It was an application to join a vegan-foods-of-the-month club. I would be obligated to pay for shipments of vegan foods selected for me, which appeared to be mostly spiced yogurts.

“No thanks,” I said.

“Oh, this will make you very healthy,” said the guy, and continued to fill out my application.

“Look, I thought I was filling out a frequent coffee drinker application. I don’t want this.”

“Oh, you won’t be sorry you joined.”

“No thank you.”

“Oh, come on”

“Please, no.”

“Look, I’ll just have you join, and then you can quit later.”

“Will you stop trying to get me to join this vegan food club?”

“Try it!”

“This is ridiculous,” I said, and then shouted, “This man won’t sell me coffee!”

As I walked away from the counter, back out to the parking lot to help my wife carry boxes for the Ethiopian refugees, I heard the guy say to the next customer, “That guy is some kind of idiot.”

I have to admit, I truly did feel like an idiot.

What did you dream about last night?

1 comment to A Nightmare Of Venti Proportions

  • J Clifford

    Tonight, I woke up after having just dreamed of watching a new muppet movie in which the storyline is all about how smalltown economies will benefit if business plans for Main Street are more rational, and small town banks adopt more professional standards for their work. The muppets actually sang songs about this, in the dream.

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