Prehensile Lung Cancer Naked Conservatism
There are plusses and minuses to every political position.
Conservatism is an empowering political ideology, fitting all sorts under its umbrella — human and non-human alike. Join the conservative movement and free-market Magic will grant you prehensile powers and leg-biceps beyond the limits on your species set by so-called government “experts.” Plus, you can go in the buff if you want. Bonus! Unfortunately, the nanny-state no-shirt-no-shoes-no-service regulation will keep you from shopping, and you’ll die a lingering early death from lung cancer. But that’s all right, because you’re hardcore, grrrrrrrrr.