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News Tips for Escambia County Sheriff David Morgan on New Wiccan Crime Spree

In the wake of the little-heralded acknowledgement by Escambia County Sheriff David Morgan that a local murder wasn’t some kind Wiccan ritual after all, it might be tempting for Sheriff Morgan to back down in general from his demonization of Wiccans.  Such an approach would be kind, considerate, and fact-based.  It won’t put Sheriff Morgan back in the news, though, and the news cycle is King, or Queen, or High Priestess, or what have you.

To help fan the flames of distrust for Wicca while maximizing police-driven hysteria, I suggest that Sheriff Morgan’s public relations office scrutinize its own police reports a bit more closely for other hints of Wiccan crime sprees.  Why, in just one day in Escambia and neighboring Santa Rosa counties, two people hauled into jail were characterized as “under the influence…”, five were characterized as suffering “possession,” and one arrestee was referred to as a “Hurricane.”  Some really elemental stuff must be at work here.

But wait, there’s more.  Check this out:

Friday Arrests Announced on a Thursday in Pensacola

Do you see that?  I call paranormal strike three; it’s time for another news conference!

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

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