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100% Natural Food, Patent Pending

I know that it may be a controversial position, but I believe that sometimes, it’s better for a product to be allowed to die, rather than have to suffer through attempts to revive it through advertising. Such is the case with the stuff from the Space Nutrients Station.

I call it “stuff” because I’m not sure what else to call a “patent pending formula to make your meals 100% complete and natural”. How can something be natural and be created through technology that’s patented?

natural space food patent pending

Does the Space Nutrients Station call its bottled of powdered dreck natural because it’s made out of natural ingredients? If so, that’s not an accurate description, because the workers at the Space Nutrients Station pour a highly processed vitamin and mineral mix into every bottle of their stuff. If the natural ingredients in their stuff are so good, how come Space Nutrients Station has to add a bunch of non-naturally produced nutritional content just to bring it up to snuff?

The Space Nutrients Station pitches their “natural” product by encouraging me to “Stop Cooking. Eat like Astronauts.” Sorry, but no. My parents took me to the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum when I was a kid, and got me all excited about eating ice cream just like an astronaut. I thought nothing could be better than the combination of astronauts and ice cream, until I ate the ice cream. It was not rich, it was not creamy, and it was not very tasty… and there I was, still not in outer space.

Space Nutrients Station’s stuff looks like a product designed for people with eating disorders, not a natural product for people trying to get healthy in a complete way. People have been cooking food for over a hundred thousand years – and it brings out more of the nutrition in what we eat. It’s not natural to drink every meal out of a plastic bottle, while pretending to be a person blasted up into outer space, sitting in a tube all day, every day.

It’s not appealing, either. Please, will somebody just let the Space Nutrient System life support systems run out of energy?

2 thoughts on “100% Natural Food, Patent Pending”

  1. ella says:

    I thought about the ‘space ice cream’ once, pricey. And that sounds like the only thing the patent has in mind, the money that can be made from it. Of course there must be some other way for the space agency to make money, they do so all of the time, so is actually patenting this stuff?

  2. ella says:

    I meant “, so who is actually patenting the stuff?”

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