Browse By

Manufacture Your Own Photographic Evidence Of Nephilim Archeological Digs, In Four Easy Steps

There’s an especially bizarre branch of Creationism that claims knowledge of an ancient conspiracy by “giant demigod nephilim men” to cut humanity off from our religious heritage. Believers of this conspiracy theology claim that once, all humankind knew the truth about divine creation of the Earth by the god of the Christians. But then, gigantic humanoid demonic aliens invaded Earth, and set themselves up as pagan gods to be worshipped by humans. When Jesus was born, the story goes, he set about “deprogramming” humanity from the false stories spread by the nephilim, reacquainting us with the one true religion, which was Christianity all along.

As evidence for their claims, Nephilist Creationists offer photograph evidence such as the picture shown below:

nephelim archaeology

You see? There are archaeological digs turning up giant nephilim skeletons all over the Earth. The only reason you haven’t heard about it is that They are censoring the story. You know… Them.

These photographs are fakes, of course, but aren’t they adorable? They’re like jackelope postcards, having their own quaint charm. If you want an nephilim archaeological dig photograph all your own, here’s how to get the job done in 4 easy steps:

1. Find a photograph of an in situ set of human remains from an archaeologial dig, like so:

human remains archaeology

2. Find a photograph of archaeologists or paleontologists digging up a skeleton, like this:

paleontological dig

3. Using a graphics editing software package, cut and paste the photograph people working on a dig on top of the photograph of the human remains, like so:

nephilim hoax photograph

4. Cut away the images of the people working on the dig, and rearrange them at a shrunken scale to make it look like they are working on uncovering gigantic humanoid remains. Reducing the color saturation and a touch of blur helps make it look a little more realistic.

fake nephilim archaeological dig photograph

Voila! Your own photograph of a nephilim archaeological dig! Impress your most gullible friends and neighbors.

3 thoughts on “Manufacture Your Own Photographic Evidence Of Nephilim Archeological Digs, In Four Easy Steps”

  1. Jim Cook says:

    But it’s REAL!

  2. Dave says:

    Is this why they call it skullduggery?

  3. ella says:

    Ancient skeletal remians:
    “France 350 cm 11 ft 6 in Giant of Castelnau Height estimate based on bone fragments found at the Neolithic cemetery of Castelnau-le-Lez, excavated in 1890 by Georges Vacher de Lapouge and published in the journal La Nature, Vol. 18, 1890.[56] Unknown – Neolithic France”

    Guinness World Book of records wasn’t there to confirm these either:

    “Russia/Belarus 285 cm 9 ft 4 in Feodor Machnow Height not confirmed. 1878–1912 (34)
    England 282 cm 9 ft 3 in John Middleton
    The Childe of Hale Written on his grave is Here lyeth the bodie of John Middleton, the Childe of Hale, nine feet three. Height not officially confirmed. 1578–1623 (45)”

    But Guinness World Book of Records was there to record these:

    “People’s Republic of China 248 cm 8 ft 1 ¾ in Zeng Jinlian Confirmed by Guinness World Records as tallest female ever. Suffered from spine curvature and could not stand at full height. Tallest recorded Chinese person and world’s tallest person shortly before her death. 1964–1982 (17”
    “United States 272 cm 8 ft 11.1 in Robert Wadlow Tallest human in recorded history confirmed by Guinness World Records.[1] 1918–1940 (22)”

    Here’s a place you can find a job learning about giant fossils: 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!