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Help Us Kickstart The Network Of Recovering Marketing Addicts

shane stone obsessed twitterShane Stone doesn’t go by his real name much any more. Instead, he promotes an alternative identity he calls Profit Mole. He’s gone so far into this role that he’s lost much of his ability to communicate in coherent sentences. “I tweet, sleep and breathe B2B Customer Acquisition strategy”, Shane says, speaking to anyone who will listen.

Imagine what it’s like to be around Shane, engaged in B2B customer acquisition strategy with every breath he takes, even in his sleep. Judging from his Twitter profile, he’s a new father. Will his baby ever discover any aspect of his father besides B2B customer acquisition? What is it like for his clients, when Shane tries to keep the B2B customer acquisition going during a diaper change? Does Shane simply not change the baby’s diapers, hoping for a B2B solution?

Shane isn’t alone in this problem. Social media reveal vast networks of marketing addicts, hooked on the promise of being always on, always hustling, never resting until they get their next hit: Sale.

Mike P. Weiss writes, with shaking hands, that, “Stories used to be told around campfires. Now we are telling stories 24/7.”

Gary Vaynerchuk tells his suppliers that, “Social marketing is now a 24/7 job.”

The Ketchum PR firm says, with more than a hint of desperation, “Marketing is not M-F 9-5 anymore. 24/7 has to be standard.”

Gianni CJ Valentino advises other addicts, “If you don’t want a 9-5, be prepared to hustle 24/7.”

24/7, apparently, is some kind of code in the marketing underground, used by addicts to indicate where they can get their next fix.

Identifying with the systems of marketing automation that they hope will deliver them the wealth they have long pursued, these addicts begin to look at themselves as similar to the machines that threaten to replace them, needing no rest, day after day, until their youth is spent, like meth heads, only with sagging eyes instead of oozing sores.

Please sponsor Shane, or one of our other compulsive professionals. Join our intervention network. With just a small donation, you can help them get off the treadmill to nowhere. In exchange for your help, you’ll receive a personal letter and a photograph of your recovering market addict. Don’t wait. Just $5 a month can get buy a market addict a walk down the street without a smartphone, or a novel to read that provides no insight whatsoever into the nature of leadership. Call now.

One thought on “Help Us Kickstart The Network Of Recovering Marketing Addicts”

  1. ella says:

    Point taken. NO YOU CANNOT GET ANY MONEY. NO SALE. Are you all right or did you go into shock? And I thought a major .com/box store was killing me, as a consumer, with e-mail ads. One cure is to “unsubscribe” from all advertisements. That way you only think of what you need to buy. Maybe if enough did that the compulsive sellers would be limited enough to have blank time. Time to rest and realize there is another world to live in.

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