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Which Of These Two Satans Will Win The Republican Primary?

While Republican voters used to spend a great deal of time accusing Barack Obama of being “The Antichrist”, they can’t bring themselves to do the same with Hillary Clinton, because, for Republicans, gender discrimination is even more important than hating Democrats. They just can’t wrap their heads around a woman being The Prince Of Darkness. The GOP seems to think that even diabolical women should know their place.

Norman Liebmann writes, for example, that “Hillary Clinton is Satan’s third best idea with which he would afflict Mankind.”

If Hillary Clinton is Satan’s third best idea with which he would afflict us, then what are the first and second best ideas?

Meet the two Satans competing for the Republican nomination for President.

On August 20 this year, the FEC received and dutifully registered H. Majesty Satan Lord of Underworld Prince of Darkness of College Station, Texas as an official Republican nomination for President. This Satan registered in the correct form, with a campaign committee titled: H.M. Satan Lord of the Underworld Prince of Darkness for a brighter future.

A couple of weeks later, Ronald Childeater/molester KKK McSatanAntiChrist Jr. from San Marino, California also registered as a candidate for the Republican presidential nomination. This Satan did not register correctly, failing to incorporate his name into his campaign committee title: Just Give Me Money(Souls Welcome Ass Well). The FEC has not requested that this Satan re-submit campaign documents in the correct form, however.

Neither Republican Satan has yet spent any money on their campaigns. Apparently, they’re both waiting for Donald Trump to burn out.

2 thoughts on “Which Of These Two Satans Will Win The Republican Primary?”

  1. ella says:

    WHERE did you come up with this?! And I thought it was required that a person present proof of birth and citizenship before they could register to vote much less register as a candidate. This then is proving that absolutely anyone, from anywhere, can lie about their name, place of birth, as they register to become President of the United States. Point taken, how far the government slipped in recent decades. As for the opponents, they have already won, by making it obvious that anyone, can claim to be anyone, run for public office, and in the United States, it is acceptable. The Devil can win here.

    1. J Clifford says:

      Ella, this information is available through the Federal Election Commission. I’ve added links to the particular information for these supposed demonic candidates.

      It is correct that anyone can register to become a candidate for a party’s nomination to become President of the United States. There is another officially registered Republican Party candidate with the name “This Is Fake”. See https://beta.fec.gov/data/candidate/P60014230/?cycle=2016

      However, to actually be elected as a party’s nominee, and to become President of the United States is quite a different thing than simply registering as an official candidate.

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