Even Before He Ran for President, Ted Cruz Played Hooky from the Senate
In 2016, Ted Cruz has a 93.75% absentee rate in votes in the Senate. Only 100 Americans get to wield the considerable power and responsibility of a U.S. Senator, but Ted Cruz has tossed aside that power and responsibility like some used Burger King wrapper as he runs after a new, shiny desired object: the presidency.
Some people may say that Ted Cruz had to leave the Senate behind in order to run for President. But no, of course, he didn’t. He could have resigned his Senate seat and let someone else do his job, but Ted Cruz wants the best of both worlds, so he holds onto his seat while refusing to actually sit in it. That way, if he loses his presidential bid, he can go back to being Senator Ted.
But why does Senator Ted want to keep on being Senator Ted if he’s not really all that interested in carrying out the duties of a Senator?Forget 2016; it’s not as though Ted Cruz was ever really that interested in his Senate job before this year. In 2015, when the presidential race was just getting underway, Ted Cruz was the third least-likely Senator to show up and vote. In 2014, Ted Cruz was among the top 20 hooky-players of the Senate. In 2013, Ted Cruz was among the top 10 Senate absentees, nestled among seriously geriatric and considerably ill Senators who, unlike Ted Cruz, have an excuse for not getting out of bed.
What is it that Ted Cruz likes about being a Senator without actually, you know, being a Senator? Is it having staffers and interns who laugh at his jokes? It it that people hold the door for him? Is it that a chauffer will drive him around town so he can play Plants vs. Zombies in the back seat? Is it maybe just the title? Perhaps we could give Ted Cruz a nice, important-sounding title, something like Grand Moff Cruz, so he could feel important, and someone else could actually do what senators are supposed to do, which is to, so I understand, govern.
Grand Moff Cruz. I like the sound of that.