Browse By

These Members of Congress have Time for Magic but No Time for Minimum-Wage Workers

It’s funny how our political leaders decide what’s important and what isn’t important.  I just can’t decide if it’s funny ha-ha or funny creepy.

The following members of the U.S. House of Representatives have decided to throw their time and effort behind H. Res. 642, a new bill introduced just last week:

Rep. Sessions, Pete [R-TX-32]
Rep. Stivers, Steve [R-OH-15]
Rep. Meehan, Patrick [R-PA-7]
Rep. Donovan, Daniel M., Jr. [R-NY-11]
Rep. Dent, Charles W. [R-PA-15]
Rep. Simpson, Michael K. [R-ID-2]
Rep. Buck, Ken [R-CO-4]

 

What does H.Res. 642 do? Well, it doesn’t do anything, per se, in the sense of accomplishing any actual improvement of any problem facing the country.  No, it doesn’t do anything.  But the bill says something, and this is what it says:

Magic Is So Cool.

The Congress Capitol Building with Magic Sparkles and Rainbows

I kid you not.  The “action” portion of the bill resolves “that the House of Representatives recognizes magic as a rare and valuable art form and national treasure.”  Why?  The “whereas” section has some doozies:

“Whereas magic enables people to experience the impossible;”

“Whereas magic, like the great art forms of dance, literature, theater, film, and the visual arts, allows people to experience something that transcends the written word;”

“Whereas many technological advances can be directly traced to the influential work of magicians;”

“Whereas David Copperfield, with 21 Emmy Awards, 11 Guinness World Records, and over four billion dollars in ticket sales, has impacted every aspect of the global entertainment industry;”

“Whereas people consistently leave David Copperfield’s live magic show with a different perspective than when they entered;”

“Whereas Rebecca Brown of Portland, Oregon, left a David Copperfield magic show with a newfound inspiration to pursue her lifelong, unfulfilled passion for dance;”

“Whereas cities such as Wylie, Texas, and its mayor, Eric Hogue, recognize and promote the art of magic with official proclamations, summer educational programs, and the first festival dedicated to the art of magic in the State of Texas;”

“Whereas Mayor Eric Hogue, who learned the art of magic as a child, continues to use those skills to teach elementary school students about the different roles and responsibilities of local government;”

These Republican members of Congress have decided it’s of vital importance to recognize that magic is not books, to promote David Copperfield’s entertainment career, and to note that Wylie Mayor Eric Hogue issues proclamations about magic, too.

The same Republican members of Congress have decided it’s not really of vital importance that America’s minimum wage workers have gone without a raise for seven years, during a period in which the cost of living in this country has gone up 11% and corporate CEOs make 350 times the wage of the average worker who toils beneath them.  None of these members of Congress has bothered to support H.R. 2150, a bill to at long last kick the minimum wage up a notch.  They’re too busy marvelling at the wondrous impossibility of magic.

3 thoughts on “These Members of Congress have Time for Magic but No Time for Minimum-Wage Workers”

  1. JOTL says:

    We share our fruit, if we have it.

  2. JOTL says:

    All that these bills do is mandate that there be hats in every corner of our lives, and children’s lives, in which a magician may at any time pull out a gold star or a gun, depending on their mood.

    We can have hats, but they must be infused with an UNBREAKABLE spell:

    To extract utility from the hat takes magicians casting the same spell: There will be only 3 types of magicians: one of compassion and love, one of work and utility, and one of economy and legality.

    At least two must agree, and if it is not unanimous, the, the third magician has a duty: to step aside and “let the magic happen”, but be the avenue through which an audience may expeditiously obtain a referendum wand, which is the most powerful wand in the land.

    1. JOTL says:

      (They need a referendum wand now, which teleports ALL of the magicians out at the same time, and all of their chairs, and replace it with a shiny new bank of their own.)

      Then they will decide how many seats are SUSTAINABLE and REALLY necessary, and fill them as they see fit. They will write a new spell book, using the original copy of their NEW WORLD ORDERS, their constitution.

      Other kingdoms will see this and follow.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!