Browse By

Super PACs

In the USA, “super” political action committees are a means through which powerful groups and wealthy individuals can use big amounts of money to warp the democratic political process and buy influence along the way. They’re no-account accounts, through which unlimited amounts of money flow with a nod and a wink, under the automated view of an Federal Election Committee that doesn’t have enough power to actually enforce campaign finance ethics laws anyway. Super PACs aren’t super at all. They’re just awful.

However, there are some super PACs that don’t wield influence at all, and in doing so, regain the right to call themselves super.

The Texans for Integrity super PAC, for example has received no money and given no money to any political candidates in the 2016 election cycle. That’s what integrity looks like in a super PAC. Oh, and the PAC is based in Dublin, Ohio, not Texas.

The Committee for Crazy Cat Ladies is not a super PAC, actually. It’s a regular old PAC, directly controlled by independent presidential candidate Oliver Tate. It gains super status, however, by supporting cat ladies, in spirit, which is about all the Oliver Tate for President campaign can summon anyway.

Presidential candidate Stentor Danielson of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania doesn’t have cat ladies on his side, but he does have funny mythical horse-like creatures. With a party affiliation of Other, Danielson is running for the White House with the support of the Happy Laughterson’s Merry Band of Unicorns Committee.

Back in 2008, the Alien Technology Corporation Fund for Good Government PAC spent $1,037. Since then, it has gone underground… or, at least, that’s what they want you to believe. Another PAC with a similar constituency has risen to fill the void. The Extraterrestrial Phenomena PAC is legally active in the 2016 election cycle, though it hasn’t spent any money, and it is based in Bethesda, Maryland. Can an extraterrestrial PAC be based in Bethesda?

The Zombies of Tomorrow super PAC operated during the 2012 and 2014 election cycles, but has since been de-authorized by the FEC. Being de-authorized, though, is kind like being killed, at an organizational level. You can’t kill a zombie, silly. The Zombies of Tomorrow super PAC has raised no money, but it has raised from the dead, which is impressive enough.

2 thoughts on “Super PACs”

  1. ella says:

    Here is something as important,maybe even related in a strange way:
    Satanists are handing out coloring books to little children before school in rural Colorado. It started over an argument concerning whether it was alright to distribute literature to the students. Well, we see who steps in when the opportunity arises.

    1. J Clifford says:

      We see who started it: Pushy Christians who wanted to use the public schools as tools to spread their religion.

      Christians had been handing out Bibles to students in Delta County public schools on behalf of local churches for years. That’s not just tacky. It’s also unconstitutional.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!