Man With Gun Saves Kansas Graduation Ceremony From Invisible Terrorist Munchkins
Guns keep Americans safe, say gun advocates, and their arguments were strengthened this weekend by an incident in Kansas, where a man carrying a concealed gun saved a high school graduation from an attack by violent extremists.
The man brought a semi-automatic gun to the Augusta High School graduation ceremony yesterday. The gun was concealed in his sock, where it chafed his ankle. The man told police that he was adjusting the gun to make it more comfortable when the gun went off, and shot the gun owner in the foot. The bullet from the gun then ricocheted and hit a woman in the leg, causing massive bleeding. She will survive.
Well, that’s the official story, at least. It’s the story that anti-gun nuts will tell, because it supports their secret campaign to take away your guns.
The real story proves just how much we need guns to be safe in America.
It turns out that Muslim extremists had infiltrated the graduation ceremony, and were planning to kill everyone present, using small explosive devices. The Islamic terrorists were not detected because they were using shrinking rays and invisibility cloaks.
The man who brought the gun to the graduation ceremony was the only person there who could see the invisible miniature Muslim terrorists. There was one standing on his foot, about to ignite a bomb, when the hero fired his gun, sacrificing his foot in the name of Homeland Security. There was another invisible little Islamic extremist standing in front of the woman who was shot in the leg. This second terrorist had just shouted “Allahu Akbar!” when the hero fired his gun, which is why no one else heard the shout. If it wasn’t for his precision bank shot to kill both terrorists with one bullet, perfected over years at a local firing range, everyone at the graduation ceremony would have been dead.
That, my friends, is why we need to see more people carrying guns in this country. Of course, you won’t hear about this from the liberal media. Instead, all they’ll tell you is that some idiot in southern Kansas shot himself in the foot and nearly killed a bystander because he couldn’t stand to be separated from his gun for even an hour.
Those liberals will argue that it’s against federal law to carry a gun onto school property. Well, I suppose that’s important – if you care about the letter of the law. The Silent Majority knows, however, that the only thing that stands in the way of tyranny in the USA is a citizenry that stuffs guns into its socks, just in case the invisible terrorist munchkins decide to attack.