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Donald Trump Complains That Safe Food Costs Corporations Too Much Money

Donald Trump says that he’s going to make America great again, but for too long, critics say, he wasn’t getting specific enough with how he would achieve this greatness.

Yesterday, Trump got specific. At long last, we know how he plans to make America great again. He plans to allow gigantic food corporations to serve Americans food that is grown in human shit, covered in E. Coli bacteria, tainted with industrial chemicals, and left to rot before being eaten.

I wish I was making this up, but no, Donald Trump is seriously promoting a food policy that would encourage this kind of disgusting corporate abuse.

Yesterday afternoon, Donald Trump issued a policy statement explaining that, if he is elected President, he will disable “The FDA Food police, which dictate how the federal government expects farmers to produce fruits and vegetables and even dictates the nutritional content of dog food. The rules govern the soil farmers use, farm and food production hygiene, food packaging, food temperatures, and even what animals may roam which fields and when.”

Trump says that eliminating these regulations will help corporations become more profitable. Let’s spell out what this means for the rest of us:

– Regulations that control the roaming of farm animals in particular fields are present to prevent the spread of plagues of animal borne diseases, and to prevent the contamination of our food with substances such as chicken shit.

– Regulations that govern the soil farmers use are there to prevent an agricultural catastrophe like the dustbowl from devastating the Midwest again, and to stop unscrupulous corporate farmers from growing vegetables in raw human sewage.

– Regulations that establish farm and food production hygiene are there to protect Americans from being sold food that’s contaminated with things such as cockroach eggs and mouse urine.

– Regulations that set standards for the temperatures at which food is stored prevent milk from turning sour, meat from turning green with mold, and eggs from becoming sulfurous breeding grounds for salmonella.

– Regulations that dictate the nutritional content of dog food are designed to prevent a repeat of what happened a few years ago when Chinese-made dog food filled with toxic substances in order to cut costs killed large numbers of family pets across the United States.

Donald Trump plans to eliminate these protections of Americans’ food. He calls them “overkill” that is preventing America from being great again. Trump doesn’t want “food police”, but hasn’t stopped to consider that without laws controlling the way that food is handled, the United States will return to the days of Typhoid Mary.

I don’t know what Donald Trump means by the word “great”, but for me, the idea of making America great again does not include making Americans eat shit-laden rotten food and poisoning their dogs.

Oh, but maybe that’s just me being politically correct.

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