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Preacher Tries To End American Democracy With Prayer In Congress, His Magic Fizzles

In Congress yesterday, the power of prayer did battle with the power of democracy.

Ted Traylor, a Christian preacher from Olive Baptist Church in Pensacola, Florida, stood up on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives, and attempted to use the magical power of prayer to dismantle American democracy and replace it with divine despotism from Heaven itself.

Traylor prayed, “Lord, forgive us and deliver us from any sort of reliance on ourselves… Cause truth and justice to triumph over personal preference, and direct every decision of this body.”

Self-reliance and the freedom to create a human government on the basis of the personal preferences of voters is, of course, the foundation of American democracy.

When Traylor was done casting his prayer magic, he stood still for a second, waiting for something to happen.

Nothing did.

The power of prayer never showed up. The power of democracy did. As Traylor went to sit down in a chair, the workings of American democracy surged forward, unhindered by the sacred incantation.

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!