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Undead Blogging The Second Presidential Debate 2016

Ordinarily, we would call this liveblogging of the 2016 presidential debate, but the presidential campaign of Donald Trump can hardly be described as alive. It’s more like a stumbling, stammering zombie at this point. So, let’s call this undeadblogging of the 2016 second 2016 presidential debate.

8:59: One minute before the start, it looks like the Malloy sons, I mean the Trump boys, have very sweaty foreheads. Ivanka is fidgeting. Does Melanie have finger-sized bruises on her throat? The Clintons are smiling.

Uncommitted voters asking questions. Who hasn’t figured this out by now? These may be very simple questions.

Donald Trump stands behind his chair as if he wants to strangle it.

The first questioner asks, But what about the children?“My whole concept was to make America great again,” says Donald Trump in the past tense as he doesn’t answer the question. What about the children, Donald? What is the topic? There’s a big deficit. We have to respect law enforcement. Fix the inner cities. Topic sentence, please.

Where you have a world with people drowning people in metal cages, Donald Trump says, it’s Medieval times, and that’s why he engages in locker room talk.

Nobody has more respect for women than Donald Trump does. Not even Gloria Steinem.

Large man seated behind Hillary Clinton just turned from pale to bright pink skin color as Hillary Clinton talks about how Donald Trump has bragged about sexual assault against women. Is he really an uncommitted voter?

“It’s just words, folks.” Donald Trump just described his own campaign this way. Seriously.

The moderators are not letting Donald Trump get away with refusing to talk about the content of what he said to Billy Bush on the bus about his sexual assaults. As Trump babbles away, they bring him back to the topic.

The crowd is not going to stop cheering. I think someone in the stands is getting out a beach ball.

Donald Trump: Elect me President because of Sydney Blumenthal. Vicious commercials of Michele Obama talking about Hillary Clinton? Look at Wikileaks?

Donald Trump just called Hillary Clinton “The Devil” to her face.

“If I win, I am going to instruct the Attorney General to look into your situation,” says Donald Trump, with a special prosecutor, to put Hillary Clinton in prison.

“The audience needs to calm down here.”

“You’d be in jail,” says Donald Trump, to Hillary Clinton.

Donald Trump says he’s disappointed in Republican congressmen.

Donald Trump is now interrupting and shouting at the moderators.

“She didn’t talk while you talk,” says Anderson Cooper.

Donald Trump accuses Anderson Cooper of never asking Hillary Clinton questions about her emails, right after Hillary Clinton spent five minutes answering a question from the moderators about her emails.

“Great. One on three,” Donald Trump says, suggesting that the moderators and the Debate Commission members are all conspired against him.

Donald Trump says that the reason for Islamophobia is that American Muslims are keeping terrorist plots secret from the police.

Donald Trump won’t answer the question about whether he will abandon his pledge to prohibit Muslims from traveling into an out of the United States. He just says that he has a new name for this program of unconstitutional religious discrimination.

Donald Trump’s answer for what he will do to make sure that the wealthy pay their fair share in taxes: Reduce corporate taxes and taxes paid by wealthy families.

Donald Trump just admitted that he used a real estate writeoff to avoid paying federal taxes for almost 20 years.

Donald Trump says that it’s a bad thing for America to have fewer nuclear weapons, and that he wants the USA to “go wild” with nuclear weapons like Russia.

Donald Trump says that he and Mike Pence are no longer talking with one another, and that they don’t agree on what America’s foreign policy should be.

Donald Trump is unable to name one thing that he will do to deal with the Syrian crisis.

Donald Trump says he wants to appoint Supreme Court justices “in the mold of Scalia”.

“There is such a thing as clean coal,” Donald Trump says. Actually, there isn’t. Coal companies have never invented clean coal technology. They said they would eight years ago, and they never did. There is no such thing as clean coal.

There are rumors moving quickly across social media right now that Mike Pence has asked to be removed from the Trump Republican ticket. These rumors have not been confirmed by any reliable source.

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