Oh, Yes, The Election Is Rigged. Here’s How.
You have heard Donald Trump declare that the 2016 presidential election is rigged. Donald Trump says that international bankers are organizing a massive voter fraud campaign in which international national bankers are coordinating with media elites to organize dead people who will rise from the grave and show up at the polls and vote for Hillary Clinton, delivering a victory over Trump that would otherwise be absolutely impossible, because Americans love Trump so much that he’s winning all of the online polls.
Donald Trump has not produced any evidence that dead people are actually committing voter fraude. He has no concrete proof for is claim that zombies are going to steal the 2016 presidential election from him. Evidence is for suckers. They are counting on you asking for proof, as if it will prove anything. Americans know better. Believe me.
Oh, that voter fraud is going on for sure, and we don’t need evidence to know it. Everybody knows what I’m talking about. There are those communities out there, and you know which ones I mean, that are working with the international bankers to deprive the American people of the Trump presidency that they crave, regardless of what the opinion pollsters, who are all part of the conspiracy, would like you to think.
There is just one part of the voter fraud conspiracy that Donald Trump has wrong: He says that dead people are going to be voting, but that’s not what’s going on. Everybody knows what I’m talking about here.
I am talking about woodchucks and Martians.
It’s hairy varmints and extraterrestrials – illegal aliens – who are rigging the vote.
Now, the mainstream media is not about to tell you about this, but we all know what’s going on. Those little furry rascals are filling out voter registration forms even though they were born in Canada, or sometimes even Kenya. Have we seen their birth certificates? I don’t think so. I know that they are not Americans, because it’s against health regulations for little furry mammals to give birth in the hospital. It’s unsanitary, these disgusting pigs! I mean, they call them groundhogs, am I right? I would not kiss those little ugly creatures. Have you seen pictures of them?
So now, tens of thousands of these little rodents are crossing the borders, and they’re bringing disease, and committing crimes, and eating people’s vegetable gardens, and they are supporting Hillary Clinton. They are not alone. Believe me.
The Martians are taking American jobs, and you know where they’re all going, and it’s not just to China. They’re going to outerspace to factories on Mars, and Mars is beating us year after year under Obama. Earth doesn’t win anything any more.
Has Hillary Clinton ever negotiated trade deal with the Martians? No, she hasn’t. In over 30 years in Washington D.C., Crooked Hillary Clinton has never bothered to tackle the Martian factory problem. You know why. She’s taking money from the Red Planet. Big league.
When Donald Trump is elected president he is going to force the woodchucks to build not just a giant wall around America, but also football stadiums in every village city across the nation. We all know how much wood they can chuck, and it’s time for them to get to work!
Donald Trump is going to make America so great again that you won’t be able to sleep for the first nine months of his presidency, you’ll be so overstimulated with the greatness of it all. Believe me. But first, you’re going to have to get your binoculars out to be on the lookout for rascally woodchucks who are trying to vote.
Do I have any evidence for this? That’s not the point. Hillary Clinton lies. You all know what I’m talking about.