The Vital Need For Owl Pellet Security
According to its marketers, OBDK – Owl Brand Discovery Kits – is “the leader in quality sterilized barn owl pellets.”
Other companies, apparently, are the leaders in unsterilized owl pellets, or pellets from other species of owls. Somebody other than OBDK is the leader in sterilized barn owl pellets that aren’t very good.
This information arouses many questions in my mind. What does it mean to be a leader in owl pellets? Does it mean that you’re someone that owl pellets will listen to? Is that better than being an owl pellet follower? If you’re an owl pellet leader, does that mean that owl pellets will follow you around wherever you go – at least during working hours? How does a company become an owl pellet leader? Is there an owl pellet leadership election? Can a person enroll in an owl pellet leadership academy?
OBDK is a company with diverse offerings, of course. They don’t only sell tools for dissecting owl pellets, and a poster about owl pellets. They even link to a virtual owl pellet.
There are some who have concerns about owl pellet security, however. While he was the Governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney issued official state security guidelines about the handling of owl pellets. “Dissection of owl pellets should be completed in one day, be conducted in as few classrooms as possible, and separate from all eating areas,” Romney advised. He was also quite adamant that pencils and pens not be used in owl pellet dissections, and that students wash their hands one at a time afterwards. “DO NOT let them crowd around sinks in the classroom,” Romney warned.
For the record, the number of deaths over the last 10 years due to the use of low-quality owl pellets from non-leading owl pellet companies, or from the use of pencils or pens to dissect owl pellets, is zero, which, if you think about it, is almost one. We must be ever vigilant against the owl pellet threat.