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White House Establishes The Cult Of Trump

Donald Trump swerved into messianic visions of himself during presidential campaign, when he declared that he was “the only one” who could save America from the evils of health care and cultural diversity.

Now, the vision of Donald Trump as messiah is federal government policy.

As soon as he was inaugurated, Trump ordered the White House web site to be edited to include the following description of Trump’s election as President: “his entry into politics and public service resulted in the Presidential victory in, miraculously, his first ever run for office.”

There you have it. We are all now supposed to believe that Donald Trump’s election as President was a miracle, ordained by the heavens, as part of a new religious testament establishing the coming of Trump as lord and savior, the chosen one.

For lo, a child was born, with a 200 million dollar inheritance, and verily, after a lot of golf, at the age of 69, Donald Trump entered into “public service” by proclaiming his own righteousness, casting his enemies as demons, and groping at women.

Messiahs always must confront skeptics who fail to believe in their stories of miracles, of course. In this case, the Cult of Trump will have to deal with infidels who insist on pointing out that there’s less evidence for divine intervention in the 2016 presidential election than there is evidence for intervention by Vladimir Putin.

Donald Trump fat messiah

One thought on “White House Establishes The Cult Of Trump”

  1. Jim Cook says:

    My eyes will never recover.

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