How Trump Could Bring The Cost Of The Wall Way Down
When Donald Trump was campaigning for president, he promised that Mexico would pay for a wall to stretch all along the border between Mexico and the United States.
Trump has failed to keep that promise. Mexico has refused to pay for Trump’s wall.
The Department of Homeland Security reports that the wall will cost $21.6 billion.
Trump is now making another promise. Trump says that he will be able to bring the cost of the wall “way down”.
The trouble is that Trump hasn’t at all explained how he will bring the cost of the wall “way down”. Given the trouble Trump has had keeping his promises in the past, we can’t let him get by with empty boasts this time. We need specific ideas.
Here are just a few tactics that could help Trump decrease the cost of big government spending on the wall on the border with Mexico.
1. Trump could build the wall out of Legos, after invading the country of Denmark to seize all the Legos factories there.
2. Trump could, instead of a wall, just install a bunch of signs reading, “Warning: There’s a really, really big wall just over the next hill. Give up now!”
3. He could make the border wall out of paper instead of steel or concrete, but still make it impenetrable by having the edges of the paper face outward, so that bad hombres from Mexico would get paper cuts while trying to enter the country, and die of bloody dehydration while trying to find a way out of the desert.
4. He could make the wall 6 inches high, so that Mexicans trying to cross into the United States might trip and fall, and realize what a dangerous idea it is to try to defy the will of Donald Trump.
5. Instead of making American taxpayers pay for the wall, Trump could establish the border as a corporate park, and have a punch of cubicles for corporate employees set up along the border instead. Who would want to go through that kind of hell, just to get into the United States?
6. Trump could round up those 3 to 5 million illegal voters he keeps talking about, and make them build the wall as punishment for their naughty behavior.
7. He could set up preschools all along the border, and have toddlers build the wall out of popsicle sticks, macaroni, and glitter.
8. Donald Trump could try to make Mexicans pay for it. Oh, right! He already tried that idea.