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White House Admits Trump Told Russian Officials He Had Blocked FBI Investigation By Firing Comey

This evening, word leaked out that Donald Trump had White House staff take notes of the closed-door meeting he held last week with officials from Russia’s totalitarian government. This was the meeting in which Trump handed over classified secrets so that they could be shared with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin.

The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump told the Russians that they didn’t need to worry, because, “I am not under investigation.” Trump told the Russians that the reason he was not under investigation for his role in Russia’s attacks against the USA last year was that, “I just fired the head of the FBI He was crazy, a real nut job.” Trump then explained that to the Russians that he had fired FBI Director James Comey because, “I faced great pressure because of Russia. That’s taken off.”

Donald Trump was telling Russian government’s top envoys that he had quashed the investigation into his presidential campaign’s coordination with Russia in attacking the United States in 2016.

All White House spokesman Sean Spicer could say in response to these revelations today was that the only problem is that we all found out what Donald Trump was up to behind closed doors. “The real story is that our national security has been undermined by the leaking of private and highly classified conversations,” Spicer said.

Given that Donald Trump himself leaked highly classified information to the Russians just last week, this complaint is rather ironic.

The stress of almost daily revelations of apparently criminal activity in the Trump White House seems to be taking its toll. Trump advisors are turning against each other, and against their boss. “Every day he looks more and more like a complete moron,” one White House official said of Donald Trump tonight. “I wish he’d grow a brain.”

If I had a dollar every time I wished that, I might soon be able to follow Donald Trump’s example and purchase a public office for myself.

Insane Donald Trump

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