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The Rainbow Connection

Anonymous sources within Apple, Amazon, and Fiona’s Crystals independently verify that tech conferences and New Age psychic fairs are in talks over the terms of a merger of their events calendars. “It’s creating negative energy for us to duplicate each other’s efforts,” explained Jeff Bezos.

“We all believe in the power of connections,” Fiona Zuckerberg told reporters, on condition of not remaining anonymous. “Neuroscience proves that chanting ‘There’s an app for that’ creates physical changes in the brain.”

In response to these revelations, the Federal Trade Commission issued a statement explaining that it has no idea which office to refer this proposal to.

Pseudoscience of technology startups

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!