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Finally, The First Islamic Terrorist Attack In The USA Of 2017, Maybe!

It’s been a long, dry spell of over one year since the last radical Islamic terrorist attack in the United States. Yesterday, however, Americans finally had some reason to freak out in the name of the Homeland.

Amor M. Ftouhi crossed the border into the United States four days ago. So, you see, the border must be unsecured, and a giant wall is called for – to keep out Canadians. Ftouhi is a Canadian citizen.

Ftouhi wandered for days before he finally ended up in Flint, Michigan, at the airport. There, Ftouhi pulled out a knife and stabbed a police officer in the neck after shouting, “God is great!” You see? It must have been terrorism. When people go around shouting about God, you just know they’re terrorists.

Oh, wait a minute. Actually, the FBI says they don’t know if it’s a terrorist attack yet.

Still, a man died after a Canadian speaking Arabic unleashed himself upon America. The Homeland must have vengeance!

Oh, wait a minute. It turns out that the police officer is alive and in stable condition.

Nonetheless, we must never forget the attack at Flint Airport, because it could be part of a wider attack upon America.

Oh, wait a minute. The police say that the attack appears to be an isolated incident, and that “There’s no danger to the public at this time.”

No danger to the public? Couldn’t the government at least issue instructions for us to cover our windows in duct tape, spy on our neighbors, or fly the flag to intimidate any potential terrorists that might be hiding behind the trash cans? It’s not fair. How can we be Americans if we’re not vigilant against a vile foreign enemy?

For the sake of all that is Homeland, let’s presume that the knife attack in Flint, Michigan was a terrorist attack. If this is true, you ought to be prepared, to understand the odds that you could be a victim of this type of violence.

This first possible Islamic terrorist in the USA attack took place on the 173rd day of 2017. If it was a terrorist attack, that means that the odds of you becoming a victim of radical Islamic terrorism today if you live in the United States are: One in 55.6 billion.

3 thoughts on “Finally, The First Islamic Terrorist Attack In The USA Of 2017, Maybe!”

  1. VeloMac says:

    Was the Policeman a member of the Public? If so, then the public is in danger. I think the Author of this screed is showing all the telltale sings of “Majorophobia.” He attempts to look at bit too fervently for the least of signs of the “majority” culture beginning to wake up and strike back, i.e., to exercise what he would then term Islamophobia.

    1. F.G. Fitzer says:

      VeloMac, you really believe that if one member of a public of between 300 and 400 million is attacked on one day out of 173, the entire public is in danger?

      Well, then, you must be terrified all the time, VeloMac. You must feel constantly on the verge of death.

      You ignore that it took so long for just one person in our immense country to be victimized, in an attack that might actually not be related to terrorism at all. You have a fear fetish.

      1. Ra says:

        You act like one single person being stabbed and surviving is bad. Try living in the UK at the moment or, even worse, Syria. Stop making a big deal over what is probably nothing.

        Also, Islam is not to blame for all terrorist attacks, or all attacks for that matter.

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