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Irregular Times To Change Its Name To Blockchain Hurly-Burly

Yesterday, Bioptix, a company that makes medical diagnostic equipment, announced that it is going to scale back its work to help sick people, become an investment firm instead, and change its name to Riot Blockchain. As its new name implies, Riot Blockchain will invest in business ventures that are developing credible blockchain applications.

Blockchain is the big new innovation that everyone is talking about, though no one really understands why they’re talking about it. A blockchain system is a distributed peer-to-peer network that verifies transactions without need of any central authority.

blockchain touristsBlockchain is about to change everything because… well, it just is.

Today, Amazon is prepared to announce that Whole Foods, the grocery store chain it just bought, is going to be renamed Whole Blockchain. The mission of the business will shift from providing people food to being America’s most trusted source for blockchains. True, nobody understands what blockchain is, but nobody understands what quinoa is, either.

Next week, Elon Musk is expected to reveal that Tesla will no longer make electric cars, hyperloop trains, and rocketships to Mars, but will become a firm specializing in blockchain speculation under the new name Blockchainla.

At Irregular Times, we can see which side of the bread the butter is on. So, next Thursday, we’re making a big change. We’re going to become a blockchain platform and change our name Blockchain Hurly-Burly. We’ll be busy blockchaining morning, noon, and night, combining blockchain with social justice to bring blockchain to people in blockchain-deprived neighborhoods.

Are we moving too soon? Have we reached peak blockchain?

Yesterday, Brad Garlinghouse, CEO of Ripple, which claims to be “the world’s only enterprise blockchain solution for global payments”, complains of “blockchain tourists” who talk a lot about using blockchain when they really could just be using old-fashioned databases.

Posers. There’s nothing worse than cryptocurrency cultural appropriators.

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