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The Nature of Dark Matter Discovered!

In a reality-twisting event, physicists have finally discovered the true nature of dark matter. It turns out that dark matter is found chiefly within the fatty tissues of marketing specialists who talk about putting people into their sales funnel.

This strange transmutation apparently only works with sales finals. Sales blenders, sales spoons, and sales salad bowls are not effective in creating dark matter within the bodies of self-centered marketers. Research is currently underway to explore with her sales sifters may have this unusual effect.

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!